An “Auto” check on Sanity

It is like a mine field. Only the mines are in motion… Brownian motion! They are everywhere, rickety contraptions running on 3 wheels. The roads are rigged!!!

Be scared.

Very. Very. Scared.

I am. And I survive. Everyday. Listen to me. Believe me. They will get you eventually. You can only prolong the inevitable. One day I will be gone too. Learn what you can from me. Maybe you will survive as long as I have. Or maybe not.

This is my message to any biker out there. You are the smart ones, the ones who listen to advice. Good for you. Now listen. Bangalore roads are not safe, for there are autos on prowl. You see an unstable, three wheeled, black hooded, yellow bodied, phat-phat sounding, insult of an automobile. That is your enemy. It’s the devils incarnate. Hence, the black hood. Take it off and you will see the horns. Be wary. Very wary. Their apparent vulnerability is their greatest strength. And they can be fast. Trust me. When you expect the least, that is when their true strength is displayed. But if it gets there, there is little you can do. Say you prayers and take your hands off the handle bar.

They appear out of nowhere. A blind turn, you don’t think and there it will appear in all its black and yellow glory.

Beep. The End.

You ride adjacent to one, you don’t think, it turns.

Beep. The End.

You wait for the signal to change in a four way traffic intersection. You want to go straight. The auto on right will always want to go right. You don’t think. It turns.

Beep. The end.

And then there are the auto overlords. The auto goods carriers. They are the juggernauts. Autos on steroids. No. Hyper steroids if such a thing exists. Trust me. They CANNOT stop. And they will not stop. Anything and everything in their way will be hit and scratched and toppled and put to dust.

Do not expect any sympathy from the auto-drivers. They are the victims too. A lost cause. There is no escape for them. Anyone who dares to take the driver’s seat, falls to the devil. He is the minion. Possessed by demons raised to earth by the dreadlord auto-asura. Treat him as the enemy. To be feared. Never try to take him on in one-on-one. He cannot be saved. So try to save yourself. Try. That is all one can do.

My friend… I now depart to raise my banner and walk into the war field again. I want to tell you more. But time is short and the battle is neigh. I have a presentation to deliver and I need to ride now. Pray for me. It is never enough. If I do not make it, hope to see you in Valhalla!